It’s going to take time and time is not on your side!

I was watching a movie on Netflix called, “Love Happens” about a man who lost his wife, but gives conferences about being “A-okay” when in actuality he has never mourned or gotten over the loss of his wife. As he was coaching and helping other individuals mourn the loss of their loved ones, he was able to come to terms with the fact that he needed to practice what he preached. I can’t tell you how many times I felt like this as I was trying to help other individuals get through their mental health struggles. We are all human and we all go through ups and downs of life. Some down times last longer than we would want them to. I don’t have all the answers, maybe some answers for a certain audience, but what I have learned is this: not being depressed, feeling anxious, or going through the symptoms of your PTSD takes time. A LOT OF TIME. It’s also not a linear function where everything just gets better and better. Yes, there are times when I feel on top of the world and actually happy, but then there are also times when I feel so low and don’t understand what all of this is for. I would hear so many people say, “I just don’t want to feel (insert whatever word you don’t want to feel anymore)!” The most common words were stressed, anxious, sad, unmotivated. Well unfortunately, we all have to feel those unpleasant feelings in our lives. Because without feeling the negative emotions, would you truly appreciate the positive ones? It’s like when you wake up from a bad dream and realize, it was just a dream. It’s such a relief. That is another reason why I love Susan David so much! Whenever her clients expressed how they didn’t want to feel negative emotions anymore, she would say, “You have dead peoples’ goals. Only dead people don’t feel anything!” I recently had a bad day that evoked my PTSD. And although I can put a smile on my face and do my best, my physiological symptoms are in an uproar inside of me. My stomach is sick. I feel ashamed of myself like I know it’s my fault again. I am waiting and watching for the person to do something to hurt me in some way whether it be with words or some passive aggressive stab. It was definitely a bad couple of days, but I got through it. The Monsters Within is really referring to the monsters that we feed inside of us. We all have them. Your struggles don’t have to turn you into a toxic person though. You can still love and surround yourself with love after all of the hell you have gotten through. And since I rave about her constantly, here is the TED talk from Susan David:
https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_david_the_gift_and_power_of_emotional_courage?language=en#t-879